Dear T,

Do you think I'm disingenuous? I wonder if you are annoyed with me....am I really trying hard enough? I think I'm afraid that you will think I'm a crybaby or really ridiculous with whatever I bring up in therapy. Do you think my concerns are dumb? Ugh. This is a big barrier to me. Being afraid of what you think. Sometimes I'm not sure if what I choose to bring up is really important or not. It's frustrating. Why am I looking to you to tell me what matters to me? How messed up is that? If its important to me....but that's the thing - I don't even know what's important to me anymore. And now here I am in that no mans land. I feel like an idiot and you are just looking at me probably thinking like WTF?! You are just the therapist and I doubt you really care so much what I talk about as long as I'm honest. But I'm finding it increasingly difficult to be honest with you. I have a confession to make: sometimes I worry that this is a waste of MY time as well