hey peeps. i am doing OK. last night i was bombarded with icky feelings that kept me awake but i am holding it together well. i find it strange that i cant seem to talk about this much to my peeps here or my hubby. it kind of scares me that i am shutting down here also as far as talking about what is going on in my head. i cant even seem to wright it in my journal at all.i am just hoping it isn't me fighting to just keep it all in and under control. you know the old don't say nothing,don't see nothing,don't feel nothing and all is good kind of thing

but if i want to try and look at things in a different light ...maybe if i am talking some about all this hard stuff i don't feel the need so much to come here and vomit all this misery on to all of you.