I've posted on here before about how my long distance boyfriend lets me down a lot and I put in almost all the effort into keeping our relationship alive. We've only invested four months into this so far. I thought that after he left me outside his house waiting 45 minutes in the cold despite the fact he was expecting me, he fell asleep and didn't hear his phone ring 15 times, I should have a conversation with him about effort and consideration.

I tried. It failed.

I've spoken to him several times and, in true LDR fashion when you can't meet in person, sent him a well thought out non-attacking e-mail about my concerns with our relationship. (He wasn't answering the phone and I don't believe in texts arguments). I wanted to know if he wanted to/could he put more effort or be more courteous towards me. I told him I knew I wouldn't be the center of his universe (he has a 3 yr old son who has that spot haha) but would still want to work at our relationship because LDRs take a lot of work.

His reply: half asleep, nearly a week after this e-mail as sent, we're on the phone and he tells me he is an a hole, always going to be an a hole, and it is up to me to accept him for who he is. A few days later I tried to talk to him again, this time he was awake. He confirmed his previous statements. He said he lacked empathy and he wasn't going to change.

While I knew I was putting in more effort into the relationship than he was, I never thought this relationship really didn't mean that much to him. We had a mutual like and respect going on for awhile. He said he wanted something deep and meaningful but made no attempts on his part to promote that vision. I thought voicing my concerns might at least give way to an honest dialog about the direction we're heading....but instead he turned into a guy I don't recognize. Perhaps this is his true self. I can't even call it self-deprecating because he's so...cocky with it. "I lack empathy and I am a slacker and I'm not going to change that."

Thank you for your blunt honesty?

So now I know where I stand and it is going to hurt like a you know what. I haven't full processed this yet and I haven't broken it off yet. It seems like that is the logical next step since I somehow devoted four months of my busy life to someone who doesn't give a crap about me. :-/

Part of me feels like this came out of nowhere and part of me is disappointed that I spoke up regarding an issue that was bothering me and now seem...dismissed. I hope this doesn't prevent me from speaking up in future relationships.

So much for that.