Wouldn't it be great if there was a switch that we could flip to turn off all the negative emotions? Things have been so tough lately, I recently lost my job and so far am having no luck in finding a new one. I was unemployed for six months before, and am scared to death I will be again. There are other things, that I'd rather not mention, also going on. I find if I start thinking or dwelling on something bad, these awful feelings of anxiety, panic and fear will overwhelm me and I'll suddenly like the world is falling down on top of me. I can't stop, and this happens sometimes just out of the blue, when I'm doing or thinking something totally unrelated. All I can do is collpase on my bed and cry. I hate it. That's when the sucidal feelings really hit hard.
Up to this point in my life, everyone has left me. I have no friends to speak of, and I'm so lonely I just want to stand in the middle of the street and scream and scream until someone finally notices me. At my old job, I think I may have found someone who actually wants to be with me, but I'm so used to being abandoned, I constantly feel paranoid about him leaving. He leads a very busy life, and he does make time for me, but if he doesn't call for whatever reason or has a legitimate reason for having to re-schedule our plans, I go completely off the wall. I will immdiately begin to suspect that something else is going on, even when it probably isn't. These thoughts, fears and obsessions are completely unrational, but I just can't stop them. I just want to be happy, with someone who really cares about me. What is so wrong with that? It's killing me slowly, from the inside out.
There are some things worse than dying. Feeling.
Anyway, in the midst of all this, when I'm able to think a little clearer, I keep thinking how badly I want to flip that switch in my brain, and tune out all those negative, painful emtions. If only we could, right?

Just a thought.