My dad used to recite this poem to me when I was a very little girl, and the same is true of my personality (even though I supposedly grew up):

THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL
BY HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW
There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good,
She was very good indeed,
But when she was bad she was horrid.

I've always been one of extremes, and shocked my diagnosis came so late in life. Just a few months ago at 41. Everyone else seemed to know, but me. Or the doctors. I think it was because I sought help when feeling depressed, never manic. I also mistakenly thought manic meant you had to be euphorically happy all the time. I had moments, but the euphoria never lasted that long.

I tend to be shy, quiet and withdrawn, with dark tendencies. I was even voted The Quietest in my class yearbook.

Depression or mania - not the same woman. During my last manic episode I even volunteered to do a public speaking presentation, which should have hinted to me that something was very wrong indeed. I was the kid who skipped school on speech days, and nothing could coax me into getting in front of a podium. Well, maybe if I was drunk, but I don't drink anymore. I am definitely more impulsive, unaware of putting myself in potentially dangerous situations when manic. Looking back, I can see those times now.

Jekyll and Hyde, but sometimes a fun mixture. I think I stay more or less the same in either state, as far as very distinct separate personalities - my manic one & my depressive one. Although its hard to view oneself. Others might have a clearer view of how I really come across.

One thing I have noticed since joining PC, I am share so many feelings and similarities in what I used to think were my personality quirks. I find so much comfort in that. Relating & not comparing. Not feeling like such a freak. I'm not alone, in many aspects, struggles, joys and feelings and neither are you