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Hey all,
Just wanted to give you an update. I am at Rogers Memorial in Wisconsin at a residential program. We do CBT three hours a day, group therapy, and individual therapy. Or that is what is supposed to happen. But things haven’t gone as planned.
My primary therapist is someone who is supposed to see me a couple days a week. But unfortunately that hasn’t been the case. She pissed me off the first day I met her. My therapist back at home is named Chris. The first thing this new therapist said to me when she met me was, “ill be your chris.” you have no idea how far from that she really is. Anyway, I brought it to my medical team’s attention that I wasn’t seeing her and I have been here almost four weeks. She took me aside to do some bonding. Then things went south. She literally sat me down, looked me in the eye, and said, “what if you never see chris again?” i began to cry.
Now you have to keep in mind that I am quite homesick for Chris. I saw her 3x a week. I had daily communication. I texted, emailed, called. I miss her. I miss her laugh, her understanding. It was one of those relationships that don’t come around very often. It was one of those that some people search their whole lives to find. If you have found that person in your life, then you understand where I am coming from. Now imagine some stranger that you have only seen twice in your entire life sit you and down, and shatter your world. That is how I feel and have been feeling since this happened two days ago.
I am heartbroken. And angry. Very angry. I feel manipulated. I talked to my pdoc here and all he talked about was how my therapist is right, that Chris had horrible boundaries, that she blurred a lot of the professional lines, etc. Its so hard to hear all the bad things about a person who helped you so much regardlss of the flaws. Everyone has flaws. And how can you call them flaws if they didn’t hurt you? I am confused. And angry. My pdoc mentioned that before he could make a final reccomendation to my parents, he wanted to talk to chris. So he could “make the hospital look good and preserve their reputation.” what kind of place is this!?!?!?!?!
I am angry. Confused. Hurt. I just want to get out of here. I miss Chris.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.  
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