Yes exactly, love starved. I have a small headache from the wine etc. and some small regrets because I don't really want casual. I have no interest in him further than a friend and he's the same. Known each other for almost 25 years. He's cute and fun to party with.

And spot on - the ex bf texted me yesterday after 10 days no contact. Asked me if I want to talk yes or no. I haven't responded cuz I haven't yet wrapped my head around all the possible ramifications of talking to him. He'll try to sweet talk me I suppose, so I'm trying to be strong and stay away from him. He's not who I want but I love him and got used to him. And I'm very afraid to be alone. Even though this has been the loneliest relationship. I don't know what to say to him. Basically I don't like how he treats me, he can be so mean and I'm not happy being 2nd place to his buddies, fishing, camping, dirt biking, and his dog. I will miss his dog. I miss him too.

NAlice you get 3x a day holy guacamole!!!!!! I'd be having trouble walking lol. That's an exciting prospect though, I got used to few times per year sadly.

I need to figure out my answer to talk to ex bf yes or no. I should be able to be mature enough to tell him....