Hey Abby,
Phew...you are going through a lot right now, aren't you?
JKust from readin your post I can feel the anxiety and stress jumping out. I am wondering has anything happened in your personal life to cause all of this stress and anxiety lately? A loss of relationship, change of work, pregnancy, change of address?

As for your therapist not replying to your emails anymore- this sucks but the only way you will know the reason is to ask her why. By surmizing, you are adding extra stress. My t stopped replying too and it hurt. I thought I had bored her or stressed her too much but it turns out, she was in hospital and another time she wanted to discuss what I emailed her in person but at the time I was hurt because she didn't reply.
As for your mixed emotions, could you be depressed?
This can bring about a vast range of emotions and behaviours we never knew we had before and sometimes we don't realise we are depressed, maybe you are not and maybe its hormonal or just stress either way it is worth exploring the root of these feelings.
I hope things gget better for you soon