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Originally Posted by My kids are cool
Ugh, I am so sorry you're going through this. I felt something similar and called my T about it even. He reminded me there was a time in my life when I quite literally might have died or been killed as a result of telling. A lifetime of KNOWING that you might die if you tell leaves that kind of lingering fear and panic in its aftermath. My heart goes out to you. Please reach out to your T if she or he allows it. If not, please keep coming here if it helps. You are safe. You did the right thing in telling. This terror will pass, I promise.
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I'm so sorry you have a endured this. yes, panic attacks I am no stranger to...all these years they seemed to be just that generalized dread panic without any specific reason to why. This time, there was a face and a threat. I don't want it to derail me in my therapy work....I want to fight through the fear and get it out but it so all-consuming. I don't want this person or that fear to take away my chance to heal.
I have been doing a lot of gardening...well, a lot of crazy, frantic, anxiety gardening and not sure what I've even planted but trying to keep going until the next session.