Quote:
Originally Posted by ultramar
There are other issues mixed in, from what you describe, but this sounds like more of a relationship issue than a sexual issue.
If you continue to put up with this nightmare's behavior, I doubt the sexual issue will resolve. So I'd say that, if you want sexual desire and good sex, dump the girl, and you not only potentially reap those benefits, but many more besides! 
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Lots of more issues going on Ultramar, I wish things were easier but I keep getting these kind of relationships. I have to break to cycle this time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain
Ouch! That's not good. If a man behaved like this, there would be howls of outrage across the forum. And rightly so.
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CE, You are exactly right, and my t has said that too. She also said I should go and report this abuse but sometimes I think she overreacts to things like that and encourages me to report incidents to the cops.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0
Touching you without your consent is sexual abuse, whether she's your GF or not. Doing that is disrespectful and demeaning. Please consider the possibility that you could stand up for yourself and tell her that you definitely do not want to be touched. Engaging in sex when you don't want to is soul-crushing.
I don't know if I would give her the benefit of the doubt, but people who care about their partners and don't want to retraumatize them are careful about their touching. My H can be really dense in some ways about respecting my space, but he is incredibly respectful about respecting my bodily integrity. He stops immediately if I say no and apologizes for misreading signals or what not. He would never want me to do something that I didn't want to do, and he would never want to hurt me. You deserve someone who treats you like YOU matter and you are not just a tool to get them off.
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I feel obliged to have sex with her sometimes because I know she wants it, I dont. I asked her not to touch me but she had drank a lot and took sleeoing tablets and anti depressants, next day she didn't know she had done it.
I wonder why I don't think this is abuse. Is there something wrong with me?
Sometimes I feel so bad about myself that I want to just crawl into a hole and never come out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Solepa
Hi monalisa I think I projected my wish to this answer too much  . I ment it more in general way like I wonder if people can work on problems......
I wish I would not have to deal with my causes. I donīt really know if therapy and healing would be successful without getting to the bottom of things. So I donīt think you should take my advice and apply it to your situation. It was more like a sigh from my frustration so sorry about that.
Have a nice day and take care of yourself. |
No problem Solepa, many thanks for the advice. Maybe you did project your wish but it was good of you to realise this and admit it, it did no harm and I appreciated your advice and input