HQ, you sound a lot like me when I was first dx'ed. I was called bipolar and borderline as well. I was PISSED AS HELL. I didn't take any meds like I was supposed to. I hated all doctors and all programs, but I also felt addicted to the attention of my therapist. I was terrified of being well because I had been sick for so long I didn't know who I would be without my illness as my identity. I also thought no one would ever love me or pay attention to me unless I was crazy.

i'm not saying that's where you're at, just saying that was me. You seem very angry at being diagnosed and then hung out to dry.

Just be careful...you could do more harm than anything. i realize you don't want to feel like crap on the meds but it is dangerous to just mess around.

I spent a year trying to destroy myself in every way possible. I hope you see that you're worth all this struggle :-)

<3