Try to hang in there, sunshine. I know EXACTLY how you feel with the obsessive thoughts. Even one fleeting thought in your mind, and it's all you can do to hold yourself together. Even then, I usually fall apart. The snowball effect and what it does is much too real, and extremely debilitating.
Believe me, getting drunk will NOT help. Sometimes a good cry helps a lot, but you just need to try and stay strong. I really feel for you.