i'm sorry sugahorse. but just because you had a weak moment, doesn't mean all the time you had previously goes away. you've been doing great for three months! don't forget to keep congratulating yourself on that amazing achievement!
can you find the point in the escalation of depression and anxiety at which you would have been able to stop yourself? if you can identify what that point is, you might be able to stop yourself there in the future.
thanks for sharing. i often find that standing up to myself is exponentially more difficult than standing up to others!