I talked to my T about the faking thing. She said she doesn't think that i am faking it and the reason she said that she can tell that i am not is because my features change. My mannerism and my voice as well as my thinking etc. She also said she doesnt think people can fake it and get away with it. It would easily be recognizable. Unless they took acting lessons and voice lessons or something.
so that is were i am. I so scared of all of this cr*p and I hate it i just want it to all go away. thanks for your thoughts everyone.