Lately I have been feeling a really strong attachment to my t. In the last few months we have become very close and I trust her more than anyone before.
I know I am supposed to become attached its part of the process but I feel so close that it scares me.
She knows me better than anyone and she can see right through me, she tells me I am kind, gentle and deserve to be happy but I don't believe her. I have never been this attached to someone before and it scares me so much that I want to run away. Feel so safe around her and want her hugs to last forever but I know they can't. Today I told t that I am not ok anymore and that I feel terrible again, she told me how to keep safe from my gf and that I deserve so much more respect the thing is I don't believe that and I think t only tells me that to make me feel better.
I want to tell her how I really feel but I can't I just sat there and cried and disassociated. She asked me what I was thinking and I said nothing, the tears started to roll down my face and I looked up at her and she looked like she felt everything I was feeling and I wish I didn't have to tell her all of this because she is so kind but I can't bring myself to tell her how I really feel about myself. I did talk about sex though and it helped a little. I just wish I wasn't attached and that I didn't feel so much for her.