Trigger warning for discussion of suicidal thoughts:

stopdog, have I talked to you at all about having briefly seen a female therapist? It seemed like it was going to be okay, but it was hard for me to tell if she really understood how desperately depressed I was. I joke around a lot, especially when stressed, and she and I laughed together a lot and she talked about how funny I am and I should do stand-up, etc etc.

It wasn't until my H came to a session with me because he was so worried about me that I realized how much this female T did NOT understand me. My H told her how worried he was because I had said how I could not stand the thought of living through the entire day and was breaking the day into segments to handle it -- I will not kill myself before I get the kids to school -- I will not kill myself before lunchtime, etc. The T turned to me and asked in this cold, angry voice if I had stopped and thought about how H would feel before I said that. I was like, 'what???' She said (in a very loud, angry voice, "Did you stop and think about that was going to make him feel before you said that? DID YOU?" I said that I did consider how it would make him feel and that I hoped it would help him realize how devastatingly horrible I felt. She rolled her eyes at me and turned and went back to talking to H about how badly she felt for him and how she empathized with how horrible me saying that made him feel, blah blah blah.

My point to that giant long story was that I just stopped seeing her. I went home and sobbed and sobbed and then got angry and never went back. Why do you return to this woman who doesn't get you? Would it worth it to just work through the sadness of NOT seeing and the fact it didn't work out with one of the other therapists you have seen?