right now im having problems going to sleep. i am staying up hours later than i normally would. i want to shop. i normally dont shop at all. i dont like leaving my house, but i cant wait to go shopping this weekend. i buy all kinds of things i dont need. hundreds of dollars piddled away. i max out all my credit cards when i am manic and gamble away hundreds of dollars at a sitting. i like to overshare. i email people or call my t. i never call my t. but i am possessed. i cant not do it. i have to tell people what is going on with me. im going nuts and i feel like whoever i am contacting somehow holds the key to my sanity. then i feel humiliated and embarrassed the next day for all the information i left or gave that person. i drive fast with the music blaring wishing all the idiots would get out of my way. people irritate me. i make grand plans for hours in my head and the next day they dont make any sense at all. always, the next day, nothing makes sense.