Akuma, I was advised to read a book by my therapist "Imp of the perverse", it basically says what you have written but in much more detail. When I started to read it I was in tears, I'm not really sure why. It didn't talk about the exact thoughts that I have (my thoughts and images are of my family coming to harm/dying being murdered in awful ways, not by myself) but it helped me understand my OCD a little better. I would highly recommend the book. I bought my copy from Amazon (incase you fancy having a wee look)