Thank you all for the reply, Spondiferious thank you, I am not at all resentful of my son, I love him with all my heart but I understand what you are saying.

I was just stressed out, thanks Pixielou, it was the hardest thing to ask for help, I asked my partners sister to look after him the following day and i also cried in front of her and told her what happened, I am very hard on myself and take things too seriously, she was helpful and understood.

I think we just put so much pressure on ourselves as mothers, like i still do feel like crap for having to ask her for help, i feel like i should be able to manage and if I cant I am a bad mother, I am going to try from now on not to be as hard on myself and get a timeout now and again so i dont get overly stressed.

Motherhood is the best thing that ever happened me, not easy at times thou and yes overwhelming to be sure.xxxx