Your behavior is hypocritical.

If you believe in the standards promulgated by your religion, you should uphold them.

If you do not believe in them, or, do believe in them but find it hard to uphold them due so society's over-exposure to violence, the global climate change, the position of the stars, or other circumstances outside of your control, you should just resign yourself to being unable to uphold them, without insisting that the bf share in your awareness of the fact that your actions contradict your beliefs.

Do not get me wrong - I think that with the few exceptions when the bride and groom share extremely strong feelings for one another on the physical and non-physical levels such that it is entirely obvious that their union will be great in sexual and non-sexual domains, the idea of no sex before marriage is about as smart as the idea of buying a very expensive car which would lose value down to zero immediately upon purchase, all without extensive test-driving. So I clearly do not share in your beliefs, but if you do want to take your beliefs seriously, you should try to uphold them via your actions.

I have heard of people who have stopped having sexual encounters in order to get back to the state of "clean slate" and made a joint decision to postpone sex until marriage for religious reasons, so if others have been able to that, maybe you should at least try that, too. At any rate it will be less hypocritical than your current stance on things (the "sadly quite common" part is especially hypocritical - if you do not want to contribute to the "quite common" part of the statistic that you find "sad", do not contribute to it - it is within your power).