Thank you both for the advice/opinions. The one thing about our relationship is that we are both honest and will always communicate with each other about stuff that makes us upset or we feel needs to be addressed. So he knows how I feel and he explains what he thinks about it. Which on his side is that he gets urges or thinks about a certain thing and finds whatever sexual thing he was thinking in porn and masturbates to it. He says it's things I can't help him to orgasm to, for a very PG example Asian women and I happen to be a white woman, again it's a PG example. I say how I understand people are attracted to different things but you choose to be in a relationship with me and that I value sexual intimacy and it feels as though he's making a choice for the porn and masturbation. He'll then say how I want everything and nothing is good enough. It really ends up wig a circular argument with both of us giving solutions that the other can't agree with so I do want a solution we're just having a hard time finding one and I appreciate we can be open and discuss.

Thank you both again.