I had my yearly Mammogram, Ultrasound etc and the lump that they found last year has grown. It's a Papillary Lesion. They want to take it out next week.

The lesion is benign, but it has to be removed.

The thing is, I've read that it has to be removed because it can either actually be cancerous itself which isn't obvious until excised or it can reveal cancerous cells sitting near it which aren't obvious until it's excised.

I can't talk to my GP till she's back at work on Monday, so I have to sit with it till then - actually, I have to sit with it till I have the surgery.

These things often bring me back to thoughts of you - I know that's my doing and I know I choose to stay with these thoughts - why wouldn't I? You were such a significant person in my life for what I consider to be a long time. I choose not to let go of you and if that brings me more pain then I'll just have to suck it up and deal with it because I refuse with every part of my being to forget about you . . .