Thank you all for your input!

@Leed & AVLady, First, return hugs for Leed! Also, thank you both for your responses, they are definitely something to think about. I have considered taking medications. I was on lexapro 10mg for about 4 months... I kept it a secret from my Mom and family because I was 18 at the time and I knew that they didn't approve of medication, and I felt like they weren't going to understand enough to assist me in getting the help I needed. After a few large fiascoes after they found out, I ended up quitting therapy and the medication cold-turkey around the time that the medication was starting to wear off and it was looking like I would need a higher dose. It really does work, but I feel strongly about not taking the medication. I know that there are generic brands for under 10$ now... I would rather try changing my life-style and dietary habits first to see if it's simply exacerbated by improper nutritional balance and physical exercise. I'm actually going to school right now to learn holistic medicine and hopefully start a career in it.

If it gets a lot worse for me, without any end in sight, I'll likely go for medication before allowing my mood to be fatal... but for now it's not high on my list of options, even though I know how useful it can be. I have a lot of trust issues with pharmaceutical medication because of personal and tangential experience. It's not something I really want to do for long term unless there are physical test results saying "Yes, the only way to adjust this scenario despite eating extremely well, exercising, and hydration, is by balancing your serotonin. I know it might not be very realistic, but that's how I feel about it.

@confusedinomicon, That really does help. Sometimes I have trouble speaking out about it, because I don't always have self-assurance in which direction I would like to go. I know I have been guiding myself for this long and that it doesn't seem to be turning out in my favor all the time. I have an appointment in a few days and I'll certainly have it in mind to bring it up to my T to see what kind of action we can take on a therapy plan. I know that he's concerned about unintentionally encouraging some of my most negative behaviors by entertaining conversation on it. I think that talking about the problem around the behavior would work best... Fingers crossed.