Thanks very much to everyone who has replied. However, one thing I am noticing is that the replies all seem to be from women - and I wonder if that means not many men visit here or if they are being silent on this issue because they might have a different take on this??

Also, I realise that lots of women do have something of a tummy and I think is normal after having a child, but I would say mine is on a bit more of a severe drooping scale. I suppose I'm just having trouble getting my head round this - that anyone could find me attractive. I'm conscious that I might want reassurance but at the same time I seem to have a belief that's become quite stuck over my appearance that its defective in some ways.

I know this is likely linked with having a dad who is so concious and critical of different body shapes, so I can see why its there - but I'm not sure how to get out of this 'poor me' 'I hate the way I look' 'I won't be able to change it' 'I look ugly' way of thinking.

Perhaps it really only would be through some kind of psychological help.