I can sooo relate to what you're enduring, and I am sorry that you're affected this way.

My T tries to tell me to be curious about these feelings, because it's our body trying to tell us something. Your body has been holding onto the trauma, and it's becoming more evident that your body is telling you that the fear is what has been keeping that part of you stuck.

It's incredibly unpleasant but will hopefully lead to a more integrated whole you. I am still trying to work my way there.