you write "i went along with everything".

That's what you did and you should take responsibility for that. You did it because you wanted to be a good girl, you wanted to be loved and you felt that the best way to be 'loved' by your mother was not contradict her. So you went along. It was your choice.

Now you won't go along anymore. Fine. You not only have a right to do so, but it is possible more right and sane to set your own rules, to lay them on the table and discuss them, if you get a chance.

You cannot reproach to your mother what you did willingly. You would have made different choices, all right, but did you say plainly "i want my marriage that way and that's the way it is going to be"?

I guess you are angrier at yourself, because you know that no one was forcing you. It probably was the need to be loved and to be a good girl (I am just guessing).

What you did not know, then, is that manipulative behaviors cannot 'love'. They just don't know how to do it. So she taught you that if wanted a smile, a caress, some appreciation you had to behave that way. And you did, hoping that at the end of the rope you were turning around your neck there would be love.
I do understand you only too well, if this was your case.

I would like you to remember and to think of these points:
2. if your mothers is not able to love (we don't know why) she did not drag it out from you to give it to somebody else. She just cannot feel and express real love. There are quite a few people in the same situation. But if this is her case, she is to be pitied. You will pity her in due time, I understand that you have to let all that anger out right now.

2. If you, on the other hand, can love, you are much more fortunate than your Mum. Just feel how blessed it is to be with own children without having to manipulate them into one behavior or another.

Crazy as it may sound, your Mum gave you the best she had. But her best was no good for you. This happens many a time.
It is time for you to step out from those behaviors and start asking yourself what do you want for your life and how do you want it.
But remember: you cannot change your Mum nor anyone.

She wanted her daughter to have a terrific wedding, her idea of terrific was different from yours. No harm meant.

You can ask the things you want. You don't need to get along. You have a right to want things and to want them the way you want.
Don't wait for your mother to call: write to her what you want from her, what you would like to receive.
Start setting your rules.
That's what makes you angry. The feeling that you followed her every request and she doesn't love you more for this.
You tried that, it seemed to work for some time, now it doesn't work anymore, then try another possibility.

You set your own rules, if she like them, she'll follow. If she won't follow, you will be living your life.
But you cannot make her like your rules.

Hope i made myself clear