When I was 8 years old i wrote my Dad "you don't know what true love is. But i do".
He was 40, I was 8 and i was correct.

If she just doesn't have love, she just doesn't have it. She cannot buy it, nor pretend to have it.

I want to congratulate yourself because you understood all this and you don't want to go on the way it was before.
The anger is what is helping you in saying 'no more'. If you were not that angry you might be back from where you stopped.

Turn this hard feeling into something good. Treat yourself as your first and most loved child. If you were your child what words would you say to her in this situation?

Let me try
"Dear one, you've had difficult moments. You wanted to love and to be loved. It seemed most natural that your mother should love you and now you are sad because you are realizing that she never loved you the way you deserve.
She didn't do it on purpose, she just didn't know how to love you.
But you can love and you will love yourself. And your own love will be safer and stronger. You are not alone, because I am with you.
And I know how good you are because I know that you..........................................."
and you fill in the blanks with all the good things you have done.

You need a break from anger and negative feelings or it will be too much for you.
Feel the rage, because it is important and true but give yourself some good time, some time out, or the pressure might harm you.
Treat yourself kindly, lovingly.
Talk to yourself with the most beautiful words you can think of.
I know you deserve them

Much love