I'm sorry your therapist wasn't right for you. I definitely think it sounds like the therapist was the problem, rather than you not being able to benefit from therapy. That said, you seem to have learned a lot about what you want, so you can go into the new therapy with a much better idea from the start. I suggest being really upfront with your new T about what you want and need, to make sure they can give it to you. I guess the risk with a trainee is they just don't have enough experience.