BipolaRNurse,

Eight years ago I had to quit working as a courier. I'd been doing it from 1992 and I loved it. On the road all day, sometimes local, sometimes going to NJ, PA or NY. Even with the up and down earnings(the busier you are, the more money you make)it suited me. No boss, no office and every day was a new adventure. But running on adrenaline finally caused my rapid cycling to come flying back like a boomerang. After I left, I worked part time as a store merchandiser, setting up displays and for a couple of years worked part time in a nutritionally oriented pharmacy until they needed to reduce staff because of cash flow problems. Every year, though, I got sicker and by 2010 I could barely work. In 2011, applied for SSDI and got it in two months.

You do whatever you have to do to hold on to your sanity. As others have said, with your experience and skills, you're in a good position to find employment in a less stressful environment. And, you can work even if you get SSDI. I don't recall the name of the program, but you continue to get your full monthly check and you'll have Medicare. The evaluation period is for nine months. I thought about it but I'm only taking Klonopin because nothing else works and it's pretty p*ss poor. I wish you the best and don't let things drag you down. I'm there, and along with a dysfunctional marriage, life is so-o-o great, lol.

I can relate to your job being a part of how you define yourself. I was a social worker my whole life before going on disability due to my illness. Like nursing, there is never a day in social work that is not stressful. I am taking classes now to take me in a different career direction, but don't know that I'll ever be able to work 50 and 60 hour weeks like I used to.

I was a damn good social worker, and I enjoyed that people appreciated me. I now feel like I don't serve much purpose sometimes, but on my better days I don't listen to that self talk.