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[FONT="AriMe:
Hi- I am Bipolar and sometimes.... I feel as if I cannot be Bipolar even a minute longer....
Yesterday was one of those days and really today is too! The following words have been taken from a text conversation I had yesterday afternoon:
ME: And I sometimes lack impulse control or very hard for me to TRY not to do something very stupid like.... talk to a ******- 1:09 PM
Me: it's weird how "in my head" this is for mostly just WANT IT like the ritual must give me structure.... interesting 1:11 PM
Me: okay fine.... the ****** not as thinkable now 1:14 PM
Me: Hi- good! I miss you 1:15 PM
Me: Honey...., instantly overwhelmed with an ocean of fluid stress--- 1:18 PM
Me: it is like turning your back on a rising tide or --- more like falling asleep at "No Surf" at Sunset Cliffs* and awaking to your dog barking and water everywhere- 1:24 PM
Me: I mean... I am okay, but it's the consuming nature of my bipolar mind ... it scares me i am crying, and yet -- i know it will change-pass into a different current.... but when and how much time will be needed for it to feel like home in my brain again?! 1:29 PM
Me: I read my text and feel trapped! I am so different than the roller coaster erected inside my brain!!! 1:32 PM
Me: And now.... for a moment, i feel much like the sand must feel at the beach... a vulnerable constant victim -raped by the oceans' saltwater - stripped clean yet strong- still standing... shiny bright and and still inviting...a dark beaconing to be taken by that which gives it life--- 1:40 PM
Me: wow - I am what? bipolar burden so ****ing strangely deep that no one cares? Do I get to live down beneath the rabbit hole and have no merit? 1:46 PM
Me: 13 messages... that stuck in my head! i hate self absorption....sorry to clutter your phone with my sickness === 1:49 PM
Me: maybe i will go talk to a ****** 2:02 PMal"][/FONT]
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