My Support Forums - View Single Post

~EnlightenMe~ · May 04, 2013, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ultramar

Didn't see this last part (question) until now.

I've been trying to wrap my head around 'parts' in order to understand Rainbow's and some other posts and so have written in those terms.

But I don't personally see or experience myself that way. I don't believe I have separate child parts, dissociated or not, so I can't answer that question. Our therapies and beliefs are different and there's nothing wrong with that.

I am in total agreement. We all are on our own journey and are defining that journey in a way the we understand best.

For me, personally, I would not find it helpful or healing to deal with myself as separate parts, as she thinks or feels or behaves thusly, etc. The emotions and reactions I have that one way or another stem from childhood are a part of me. And it's complicated, because since childhood (I'm 42) I have experienced a great great many things, emotionally and otherwise, so I just cannot divorce childhood from the rest of me, they're all mixed together, and all me.

I am never *purely* a child, or an adolescent, etc. In any case, my interpretations of the past, my feelings from the past, will always be affected by all the time in between, and all of the other parts of me.

When I am triggered, I feel like I am completely a child, totally. I hear you saying that your experience is different. As you have said, all of this is ok.

Because of some things that happened in my childhood and adolescence, *I* have a hard time trusting some people, especially people in authority. Not she. I. This is how I experience it, but I understand that there are others who experience it differently and, again, nothing wrong with that.

I also say I have a hard time trusting people in authority. So, I experience myself in variable ways, and the label of child part helped me. It isn't true for everyone, and clearly it won't help everyone. I agree, there is nothing wrong with any of this.

I feel like a whole person, I want to be a whole/integrated person, and want to be treated and addressed that way. This doesn't mean, by a long shot, that I don't deal with childhood issues in therapy, only that they may be addressed in a different way than in your therapy. Neither is right or wrong.

I don't feel like a whole person at all. I wish that I could convince you that I am stating my experience, and that I am in no way telling anyone else what to think or how to feel.

I think the 'leave the child behind' thing upset you and I'm sorry. I've tried to explain it, but even so you may well have a very different take on it, in fact I think you do. I've been amazed by all the different kinds of therapy practiced by different people on this forum, there's an amazing diversity, people just need to do what works for them.

It didn't upset me, I wanted to explain why I disagreed with you on that part. I now see that you can leave the child behind since you are whole, it isn't an issue. Thank you for your response. I absolutely agree that people just need to do what works for them.

I was making a suggestion to Rainbow, which may or may not end up being useful or pertinent to her situation. Just sharing my thoughts.

I also hoped to share my experiences and what I have learned from them here hoping to help Rainbow and anybody else listening.