I love this thread. I think almost everyone feels that the world has become so much harder and colder. My husband and I are constantly trading stories about the bad encounters we've had during the day. Sometimes I also don't leave the house because I don't want to deal with a world that seems to have lost its most basic civilities and pleasantness.

People tell you not to be so thin-skinned. But that's not easy or necessarily desirable. Others have posted some great ideas for surviving these rude attacks. One thing I've found that sometimes helps me is to take some control of the situation by confronting the rudeness directly, on the principle that you feel bad because you feel like the world is out of your control. The truth is you are a part of the world and have a say in how it's shaped. So I often say "You're welcome!" in a loud, cheerful voice (it doesn’t make me feel better when I say it in an offended tone of voice) when someone doesn't thank me for holding the door open, picking up a dropped item, etc. A few brave times I've actually gone after the person, tapped them on the arm and said, "You should say excuse me when you bump into someone." Often I get no response even from that, but at least I feel like I've done something, and maybe they’ll think about what I’ve said later. I'll confess that twice that ended badly for me, with the person threatening to kill me. Nice world!

Sometimes it also helps to tell myself that the offender might be suffering too. I think of the times I've been bereaved, when I've been so sunk in grief that I know I forgot my manners and probably appeared rude and selfish to someone I encountered on the street or in a store. Those are times I hope I was forgiven. When I think the person who's cut me off or has answered my hello with a frown may have just lost their child or spouse, it makes me more forgiving of their rudeness.

It also sometimes helps to vent to others, but after my husband and I exchange our rude people stories I usually feel worse. I think that’s because it’s reactive rather than active. H3rmit puts this very well – it’s hard, but it really is possible to train yourself out of your reactive approaches. I’m working on it. And I’ve found that the one thing that helps every time is to greet the world actively and as though it’s not going to be bad. This means, for me, smiling and saying hello first (instead of waiting for an acknowledgement), or asking what I can do for someone (instead of waiting for them to guess what I need).

When I'm feeling dark, weak, vulnerable and overly sensitive, this can seem like a bit of a ruse. But it's a little like exercise for me: you might not feel like you have the energy to do it, but the more you do it the more energy you feel you have for the project. I think a lot of my troubles stem from feeling helpless, powerless and out of touch, and this approach - taking the offensive instead of the defensive (a more aggressive metaphor than I mean) - has the advantage of making me feel more empowered which in turn makes me feel more positive, which in turn seems to generate more positive encounters. It’s also a neat solution to the problem of being treated like you don’t exist. It makes you more visible – in a good way.