Torn mind - you've clarified a couple of things for me. Recently t and I spent part of a session laughing over the new at&t commercials of the guy and the little kids, where he throws out a question like, which is better, less or more? Then I was like, why are we talking about this? I see now it relates back to getting our needs fulfilled. My t IS wily!! Less is more.

When I was in the hospital in september with crosseyes - they think a minor stroke - I called to cancel t, but then he said to call him and keep him informed. I didn't call anyone else. And after a while, it was like, okay, this is dumb, I'm running out of things to say to him. I realize now what he was doing. Just being there for me, being supportive. Last time I was in hospital with food poisoning or gall bladder from my mother's home, she would call me, telling me I wasn't really sick and to go back to work. Wtf?? Total denial of my reality.

Then when I was back at sessions, t said he WANTED to give me a ride home. I took a taxi, as he lives way the other side of town. Anyway, his earnestness puzzled me. It was like when he said he WANTED to get me a birthday present - yet, no gift? Now I get it! I can be pretty dense. Hopefully some part of me is hearing his messages, because I am being somewhat less destructive.