H3rmit puts this very well – it’s hard, but it really is possible to train yourself out of your reactive approaches. I’m working on it. And I’ve found that the one thing that helps every time is to greet the world actively and as though it’s not going to be bad. This means, for me, smiling and saying hello first (instead of waiting for an acknowledgement), or asking what I can do for someone (instead of waiting for them to guess what I need).

When I'm feeling dark, weak, vulnerable and overly sensitive, this can seem like a bit of a ruse. But it's a little like exercise for me: you might not feel like you have the energy to do it, but the more you do it the more energy you feel you have for the project. I think a lot of my troubles stem from feeling helpless, powerless and out of touch, and this approach - taking the offensive instead of the defensive (a more aggressive metaphor than I mean) - has the advantage of making me feel more empowered which in turn makes me feel more positive, which in turn seems to generate more positive encounters.