Candy, I had a therapist who believed in me and challenged my negative beliefs (as much as I presented them - I tend to keep them to myself because i know people get tired of hearing them). I pretended to accept what he said but the whole time I was arguing with it in my head and just digging my heels in more against giving up those beliefs.

My current T has told me that my situation is impossible, and asked me what I'm going to do about it. I said that I have to change the way I deal with feedback and start really listening to it and acting on it. I noted that I do handle feedback when it involves academic or professional stuff. If I didn't, I'd be stuck there too. But she has spent two years trying go get me to apply what I can do as a student to my personal life, and I just keep crying and complaining that it's too hard. So she asked how I'm going to do it, and I'm at a loss for ideas. I really wouldn't blame her one bit for giving up on me. I'm what is commonly referred to as a lost cause.

(((((((Fuzzy))))))))) Thanks for the hugs and for believing in me. I do believe that you believe in me, but then I start wondering if you really knew me, as I am in 3-D, would you still believe in me then? Of course IRL I can disqualify positive feedback because I don't usually show my real thoughts and feelings and what's inside, so they don't really know me either. There is always an argument somewhere. And it doesn't help to keep arguing with everything, but it's so automatic I think it's actually a step forward for me just to know what my arguments even are.

Rap