I agree with you shery53. I won't lie, there are times when I kinda go "look at that assh*le smiling!" in my head, and I catch myself. I don't like that feeling of being hateful towards others.

For me, it's more of like "how do people do it?? how are people so damn happy and committed and full of passion in their lives?!". I'm sure, or I guess I know I've had those moments in my life. Maybe more so than I'm giving myself credit for. But when you're deep in depression, it's almost like those happy moments have never existed.