Quote:
Originally Posted by touchdownlexus
ADAM
U have had ur advice from the others...all pretty good...
ur story rings a bell to me....i cheated on my husband...in thought if not in deed.....twice....he caught me and he implodes and he is diagnosed with depression.
so u see y i am writing to u.
im not saying ur wife is right.....but i wont ***** about her either.. all i wanna say is...u shudnt feel guilty.
since our situation is the same....lemme tell u...that last night FINALLY my husband chose to speak rather than brush things under the carpet...he loves me...i love him....we dont want a diorce though....but there is this huge hurdle.....my cheating on him......and the fact that he shud learn to trust me again....doesnt help we have a long distance relationship....
but...dont beat urself up about something she did...it happenned not cuz u neglected her....it happ cuz it just did....
address the problem...PLEASE if u want to fix it...
communication is the key....
my husband and i have decided to take a break but not break up....by the end we will know where we stand....
dont let the wife guilt trip u....please.
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She isn't intentionally trying to use guilt to manipulate me. It is mostly a conflict of emotions for me. When she cheated the second time, I wanted nothing more to do with her. I was so angry, Not that I was yelling at her or outside of saying how much she screwed up. At that moment I immensely hatred her and I felt like she was completely no good with no value to be in a relationship with. I planned on moving out.
About a week later I cooled down some and we talked. We had a 3 hour talk about all the things I didn't like about the relationship, and what was bothering me. At that moment I had some hope and I felt like she could do better with her choices and actions.
Since then I bounce back and fourth from wanting this to work and not. From being happy with her and then not liking her. It wouldn't be as frustrating if there was a reason.
I think for a long time I just quit listening to my emotions and tried relying on what seems rational to do. I think it was my way to cope with all the strong emmotions and not mess all my relationships up (romantic, work and personal). With therapy and all the internal conflict from the affair, I feel all my emotions all the time, except when everything goes emotionally numb then I don't really like that. Maybe therapy will help me learn how to process all of them and feel better about my life.