Sometimes a couple friends boyfriends stand back and wait because they want the child to come to them instead of the child feeling like the boyfriend is trying to take over. especially when in one situation the biological father is still a part of the picture so the boyfriend doesn't want my friends children to think he is trying to replay their dad. so he waits for them to ask rather than step in and offer and the child getting upset because they were torn between what they the child wanted vs an obligation to agree with the father figure of the house because of authority and minding and respecting elders.