So, my dad called me about ten minutes before my husband and kids were leaving for the recital. He said he would drive with them. I was so happy to hear that. Especially since my daughter would be over the moon that he would come and see her perform.
I knew my mom would not be with him, but I was relieved that he did the right thing for my daughter. They are not back yet but my son called me and told me everything went great and that he asked my dad why didn't his grandma come and he said she didn't want to.
Gosh, I guess she isn't making any excuses to me anymore. She doesn't care to.
I'm kind of angry again because I sort of feel she isn't worth my time of feeling so bad and wanting to make amends. I mean she doesn't care to fix things. Why do I have a broken heart from this and she doesn't? It really hurts. I know, it's always been tit for tat with her.
One time after I was newly married I was at work with my husband. I was doing paperwork for him and he was on a business call. My mom tried calling me but I didn't answer because I was in the same room with my husband and didn't want his call to be interfered with. I called her back a short while after and she didn't answer. I tried a few more times and she let it go to her answering machine. Thought that was odd, but I tried her again later on. I said oh hey mom, I tried you a bunch of times. She says, "we'll you should have answered for me when I called you." Ugh, I was sick to my stomach from her. I was angry and said coldly that I couldn't answer we were busy. She didn't like what I was saying and said she had to go and that was that. I hate that she is such a baby.
Even when I was finishing up my college degree I remember studying for finals and I didn't call her for maybe a day Ina half. She had the nerve to say when we spoke, I haven't heard from you, you know I would call my mother everyday when I was young. Just so that she knew I was ok. Maybe she did, but I can tell you there were many times when I was growing up she stopped talking to her mother for years at times because of arguments with her and her sisters. My mom doesn't speak to any of her sisters today. She has two that are still living. She doesn't expect this from my brother. Why me? My brother doesn't call her for weeks and its fine with her. But yet she treats him like he's a god and he can do no wrong. That only he knows about the law, or medicine, or any other thing she has an issue with at the time. God forbid I ever tell her what I think, even if its the same things my brother tells her. She doesn't listen to me when I talk at times either. Growing up I would speak fast because I knew no one listened to me. My brother always had the floor so to speak. God even as an adult having family dinners in my home with my children around the table it's always a story about my brother growing up or whatever, never telling my children about me as a child. Don't I sound jealous? I never mentioned it to her because I know that's what she would say. I'm just so sick and tired of all of it. Now it's just hurting more because of her being so difficult, still a big baby.

I am so sick today. I know I have to be more positive about what's going on but my mind is always going back to how she can be so mean. She never looks at what she does.
I should feel happy that my dad came for my daughter and she was happy. I have to be strong, I have to just carry on. I just don't think my mom deserves me feeling this way. I have intentions of trying, but now I'm just distraught again.