A couple of months ago I had got into a big blowout with a good friend that has bi polar and they pretty much wrote me out of there life.

I tried my best to reach out and tell this person I was extremely sorry for hurting there feelings after they went above and beyond in my opinion to help me get the help I needed to deal with my depression and anxiety.I could always count on them to be there for me and I told them I would do the same as well.

I tried to let things cool off and the dust to settle for a bit. I wrote them an e mail explaining that it was all a misunderstanding and I was really torn up inside and deeply feeling horrible about how I could do this to a person that wanted me to be better and cared so much about me. I tried to communicate with them with text and even went to see them in person.

I was told that I was not a friend anymore and leave them alone and never come by again. I really didn't think I could have hurt someone so bad that they could never want me to be around them ever again.

I miss the friendship I had with this person everyday and I wish they knew how much they did for me to help me in ways that made me realize that things can be better.

I never exposed my true self to anyone before and realized what I been dealing with until I broke down in front of this person and they realized that I needed help in seeing a therapist with my mental state I was having.

I just want to say that they were a turning point in my life that made me realize that I had a serious mental issue and I needed to get help to heal myself and to deal with my problems.I cant live with myself knowing that I made someone who would do anything for me not want to even know I exsist anymore.

I have to deal with this pain everyday now and Its brings me to tears and such heartache what happened between us. Its hurts more that I have to avoid this person all of this time because the pain is too much to bare to even see this person it makes me feel distressed and emotionally distraught to a point I cant function.

Does anyone have any idea what I should do?? I really need to make things right and I cant go on living with this guilt and pain I caused between us