Hello I hope things are going well with you at this time. You may need to try to get professional help since you are not having the life that you enjoy due to the depression. Depression can be debilitating if not treated, and cause more depression, and hopelessness. I really hope you get the treatment that you need and deserve you are not alone in having depression, you just need to make the right steps to feel better unfortunately for some of us that is professional help through therapy and medication. Take care I hope the best for you. I am going to leava you a crisis hotline number to call if you would like to call someone to talk to in person. -1-800-273 Talk. I aill also leave you my email address in case you need help finding a therapist in your area or would liket to emaul Take care Sincerely Soidhonia