I am new to this site, and I also need advice. I have been trying to cope with my problems alone for quite some time. I have seen doctors and therapy, and they only seen fit to dose me up on high doses and cocktails of dangerous drugs that left me not even knowing where I was. So I decided that maybe I should go it alone for awhile. Since I have been struggling, I felt that joining a group could help me, a place where I could vent and perhaps receive some advice. I suffer from depression, anxiety, and very high PTSD. I am a survivor of childhood molestation. I backslid recently, because the molester came back into the family fold once again, after 37 years. long story short, when I was 6 my father brought home a friend of his from work and my mother had started an affair with him, for about a year, once my father found out it ended but the entire time he was seeing my mother he was molesting me at night when everyone else was asleep and he was allowed to spend the night. After the year ended my mother and father stayed married for a total of 55 years, ( unhappy of course) my father recently died in 2010 and a month later my mother sought this man out. I had told her when I turned 18 what he did, but she refused to believe me. In my quest for answers, I know why she didn't believe me, because she could never think that she wasn't enough for this man, it would have taken her self esteem away if she admitted that he could actually be attracted to a 6 year old rather than her. Anyhow, she sought him out and of course he was 22 years younger than her so he is 55 years old now, and married, but he ran right over ( he always knew that my father and mother saved money) and of course within a few weeks he convinced her to put him in the will. He comes over about once a week and they are intimate, but that is the extent of it, he already told her he would never leave his wife. He makes many excuses not to see her, she is 75 years old, and is every bit 75 if that makes it clear without being rude. I haven't yet crossed paths with him, but all of this has happened since 2010. I was doing ok up until then, and when he was back in the family that he had the courage to come back knowing what he did, it only amplified my disorders and anxiety and PTSD by 100. I was functioning my whole life, struggling but functioning, and when he came back, I actually felt as though I was falling from the highest building, things were zooming past my face at warp speed and to this day three years later, it hasn't slowed down, I feel like I am in a race, even when I go to sleep, I have to take 5 benedryls and I race to go to sleep, and race to wake up, it's as if nothing is comfortable, sleeping, being awake, grocery stores, nothing is comfortable. My mother has never worked one day in her life, she bossed my father around and he worked the same job everyday for 40 some years and provided a good living for us and for her. I am now my mothers caregiver, I don't live with her, but I spend so much time on the phone and taking her to doctors. I feel betrayed, not sure by who, I have to take care of the mother that basically let a horrible thing happen to me, and wouldn't believe me, and now I am left with her. I have to listen what a piece of *($& I am, and how wonderful of a man this guy is, and it's constant, So I just feel that it's time I reach out, and maybe feel some comfort. I also developed Crohns disease about 7 years ago, and I am in very poor health, but yet my mother doesn't care. no empathy, no sympathy. nothing. I am divorced, not capable of having a relationship, because i don't trust men at all, I have a 25 year old son who lives with me, he is a huge support for me, and he see's how cruel my mother is. But i hope that I can help other people here as well as advice and comfort from others. Thank you.