My wife and I have had a rocky marriage since before we were married 30 years ago. When things are particularly stressful between us, I desire the company of my T even more. That's a no-brainer: I feel unheard, unwanted, rejected by my wife, so my T, who always listens intently, always asks pertinent non-self-serving questions, always makes important observations, always accepting of who I am, is my "go-to" in my mind when I need to escape my "poor me" self pity. And the more understanding my T is, the more I want to leave my wife and be with my T. Not that she would marry me. Once when I was feeling particularly desperate, I asked her if she would marry me if I left my wife; I was testing the water, hoping for a "maybe". She responded with a swift no. OUCH! My mind has an amazing capacity to sooth the pain by inventing scenarios. "She is saying that because it would be unethical in our client/therapist relationship for her to say anything except 'no'. If we had met under different circumstances she might have said yes."

And so it goes.