Hello Bedobones, I'll cut thru all the stuff you've tried. Therapy didn't do very much for me...

Back to the meds. I've taken lamictal for 12yrs & it's worked really well for me. I'm no spring chicken either (55) and have tried different meds.
Try not to be so hard on yourself.
Takes a while to work up to your dosage so be patient.
If it works consider it a gift, not a surrender.
Let us know how you're doing.
Take care.