hi all.

i have just been dumped. it was sort of an unhealthy relationship and even though i'm depressed and feel horrible about myself and the situation, i'm trying to figure out what went wrong.

i realize now that i had an unhealthy obsession with my boyfriend. he's even told me in the past that he thought i was obsessed with him. i would call him everyday, want to see him everyday...basically my whole life was him. if i wasn't around him, i'd feel like i'm abandoned and it would worry me.

i met this guy after i moved for residency and when i didn't really have too many friends. even now, my friends are limited and i think i depended a lot on him for my happiness. he was also my source of stress release, which ended up in a lot of fights, arguing and yelling. i'm 28 and i only had 1 serious relationship before him. i have also had a pretty messed up childhood...my parents always fought and there was a lot of violence and abuse growing up. i saw my dad abuse my mom pretty badly. i have also been molested a couple times when i was younger too (not by my dad though).

i went to see a psychologist and therapist briefly, as the ex asked me to, and was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. i was prescribed hydroxyzine for times when the anxiety got bad, like before my period. but i also figured out that a big source of my relationship problems is probably due to the exposure to the type of relationship my parents had. i am pretty much on non-speaking terms with my dad and i still don't like him for many reasons, mostly because of what he did to my mom but also because he would abuse me when i was little too. but i also think i have thing against men.

i absolutely loved my boyfriend, but there were some issues in general that i could never fix when i was with him. like feeling anxious when i was alone and then really getting upset other times. like i said, the residency didn't help either. it brought about a lot of stress and it was unlike anything i had experienced before.

so anyway, i just want to know...for future relationships, how can i learn to deal with these feelings that i have developed toward men because of my father? how can i not be so obsessed with future significant others and learn to develop my own self and person to be happier?

please help...!