I think that the reason I blame myself so much *is* because it's still easier to accept that my aunt (and others) are the good ones then it is to accept that they really didn't have my best interest in mind. And even if they did have it in mind, they simply did not know how to bring it out. They were hurting. And that's still not the kid's fault.

thanks so much for this insight, though painful. It's a good pain. Healing tears.

Carol