Quote:
Originally Posted by Antimatter
The commenters may be people who feel guilty about how they raised their children and who are defensive or it may be people who heard your story and their inner critic was projected out onto you, etc. Most of the time how people react to other people says a lot more about them than it does about you. I don't know if that helps, but it helps me at times.  |
That helps a LOT. I had realised that, but I'm not very good at having faith in my own realisations, so thank you for echoing what I was wanting to believe! I do think people tend to just look at things in terms of their own stories.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antimatter
How you feel is not only okay, it is completely understandable, completely valid. You were neglected, you were hurt, and you owe no one any apologies. I am so sorry this happened and that your mother won't help you resolve this, you didn't deserve any of this.
Sending you tons of hugs. |
Thank you. I talked to my T about it today and he agreed. I think he was pleased to see me trusting my own opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrokenNBeautiful
Hey, I went thru something similar.
I feel like I have to remind people---my roommate, others, that just because my aunt "did her best" does *not* mean I deserved what she did to me.
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This is SUCH an important point. I think some people - people whose parents were not toxic, but who did a good-enough job - don't understand that sometimes doing your best really is not good enough. I'm so sorry you identify with this, I wish you didn't have to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrokenNBeautiful
I am so sorry your inner critic was so triggered. I go thru this, too. When even one person criticises me, there it goes. "You complaining brat..." and variations of it. Horrible.
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It's horrible - but it's a horrible LIAR, created from the way in which we were treated in the past. It's not the truth. I hope you can throw a blanket over yours, too! Thank you very very very much for your support, it means a lot.
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