I can totally relate to this. I didn't have anyone watching out for me. I was working in a strip club at 19 in Orlando no less. The years that led up to it were bad... promiscuis sex... hired out of the club by married folks as a b'day gift (threesomes, etc). I was always on ecstasy, coke, smoking pot, drinking excessively, I was told I couldn't have kids so I took that as a free ride to sex with no protection. Im lucky I don't have AIDS or something. And I don't remember mist of my life before 21. I'm 30 now and wouldn't know half the people to apologize to
I robbed people, stole money, drugs, who knows. OD'd on GHB, and heroin...I don't even know how I'm alive. Now I have three beautiful daughters, a husband who loves me, work in youth ministry and volunteer in a community project for young and poor mothers (Im a birth doula and lactation counselor). Got my Dx's in Feb this year and even though it all makes sense I feel like a total fraud. My first step to recovery was Jesus. But Im nowhere near healed. All that to say this, you aren't alone.