You sound fairly realistic and even-keeled...I am sorry this happened to you. I think the word "obsession" might be strong in your case...I think you are lonely and are looking for a way to find yourself and become grounded, and when doing so, you found happiness in/with another person, which is fairly common (especially if you are in a high-stress situation), I believe.
As usual, for a relationship to be truly healthy, you have to be happy with yourself first, which for a LOT of people is not easy. I do think you should consider continuing therapy (especially to deal with your childhood trauma...that is so, so much to deal with), and perhaps trying a stronger drug for anxiety. I know my friend takes a low dose of hydroxyzine for anxiety, but he is very sensitive to medication. I am a VERY anxious person, and I take hydroxyzine for my hives; it has never helped with my anxiety, and I am taking more than he is.
Keep working on yourself and maybe learning some tools to deal with stress, and I agree with RomanSunburn about finding a hobby and other things to do that make you happy (meeting new people you have things in common with would be great) ...that's part of making the "you" that will be ready when the next right guy comes along for you. I wish you well...I know you must be in pain right now, but I do think in the long run, you will be okay.
Hugs to you and do take care of yourself; get some exercise and talk to the friends you do have when you need to vent...and of course, we are always here.