it is the harsh truth you are telling cool09. but sometimes it is comforting to think everything is ok or will be all right. just like you i have B.S. Engineering, and i am facing major depression for last 3 years. first 2 years were the worst. and current is my second major depressive episode i.e. lasting for more more than 2 years. you know what is the worse thing in depression- losing your mind. for last 2 years my functional IQ is less by at least 20. i haven't lost my intelligence but my brain is busy doing other work or doing nothing and doesn't have enough serotonin to motivate me. i start doing work but i lose my concentration in hour and start doing silly mistakes. and my normal intelligence is almost genius level that is when i am not depressed.

i still remember the reason i took break from work. my father had problem transferring contacts from one Nokia to another Nokia. he doesn't know how to operate mobiles,laptops etc. so he asked me to do it. and ... i screwed it up. couldn't do it, made mistakes.... and you know how easy Nokia are to operate. can you imagine what i felt then... with my genius level intellect! i went in my room and shouted inside my head as loud i could. you might know this but when one comes out of depression the memory is not as strong as before. it needs to be polished,brain needs work to achieve previous level of intelligence...

what i am saying is -harsh reality is- well if you are just going to ask what have you achieved in all these years... nobody will like to answer that... sometimes we need to pretend everything is ok even if nothing is! you are depressed about depression, i am frightened of depression... hope makes me feel better, but the fantasy works best... anything to forget reality....